Starting over is one thing. Knowing when to keep going and when to walk away? That’s a whole different skill.
We live in a world that celebrates perseverance. Never give up! Push through! Keep grinding! But what if pushing forward is draining you instead of driving you? What if holding on is keeping you stuck rather than moving you forward?
There’s no shame in persistence. But there’s also no shame in choosing to let go of what no longer serves you. The real challenge is knowing which choice to make.
So how do you decide?
The Real Reason I Let Go of Things
For years, I told myself I was just someone who couldn’t stick with things. I’d start something with full commitment, convinced that this time I’d see it through. And then… poof! Along comes something new, shiny, and fascinating, and suddenly, I was off in another direction.
It wasn’t until recently that I discovered I’m neurodiverse, and this isn’t just a bad habit—it’s part of how my brain works. It’s not about lacking discipline or drive. It’s about how newness excites me, and routine can drain me.
I’ve also let go of dreams—not because I didn’t want them enough, but because I was too scared to give them a real shot. I told myself stories about why they wouldn’t work, why I wasn’t ready, why it wasn’t the right time. Looking back, I don’t regret these choices exactly… but I do find it far more useful to understand why I let them go rather than mourning them as losses.
And then… there are the times when I’ve stayed too long.
The Times I Should Have Let Go (But Didn’t)
It’s easy to recognize, in hindsight, that I should have left certain relationships long before I actually did. But at the time? Oh no—I was convinced if I just did this one thing, it would all magically work out.
And it’s not just relationships. Jobs, projects, situations that drained me—I clung to them longer than I should have, convinced I could make them better.
It’s amazing how our brains work. They talk us into so many bad things and out of so many good things. I wish I had a buzzer that lit up whenever I was heading toward something good or veering into a bad decision.
The fact is, we do have that buzzer. It’s called intuition.
The problem? Sometimes its voice is unrecognisable—drowned out by overthinking, self-doubt, and a head full of thoughts that don’t take a breath.
Learning to listen to that voice—before things unravel—is one of the hardest skills there is.
The Signs It’s Time to Push Forward
Sometimes, we think we should quit when really, we just need to dig in and push through the discomfort. Here’s how to know when something is still worth your time:
✅ You still believe in it (even if it’s hard right now).
- The excitement may have faded, but deep down, you know this goal or dream still matters to you.
✅ You’re facing fear, not failure.
- Fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of stepping out of your comfort zone—these are signs you should lean in, not walk away.
✅ The struggle is growth, not destruction.
- Pushing forward is exhausting, but if you’re learning, adapting, and seeing progress (even tiny progress), keep going.
✅ You regret stopping more than you struggle continuing.
- If you imagine quitting and feel relief, that’s one thing. But if the idea of letting go hurts more than the hard work does, keep going.
✅ You’re burnt out, but not done.
- Rest, don’t quit. Sometimes, you don’t need to let go completely—you just need a break to come back stronger.
The Sign It’s Time to Let Go
On the other hand, there are moments when clinging to something is doing more harm than good. Here’s how to know when to release and move on:
🚫 It’s draining you more than it’s fulfilling you.
- If your passion has turned into a chore and it never brings joy anymore, it might be time to reconsider.
🚫 You’re holding on because of guilt, not desire.
- Ask yourself: Do I still want this, or do I feel like I should want this? If it’s the latter, it’s okay to let go.
🚫 The only reason you’re holding on is because you’ve invested time/money/energy.
- This is the “sunk cost fallacy.” Just because you’ve put time into something doesn’t mean you have to keep going. Sometimes, letting go is the smartest move forward.
🚫 You’re more attached to the idea of it than the reality.
- Do you love the actual work, or just the fantasy of what it could be? If the dream version excites you, but the real thing drains you, it may not be right anymore.
🚫 You feel stuck, not challenged.
- Struggle means growth. Stagnation means it’s time for change. If you’re going in circles with no progress, it might be time to let go.
🚫 Your intuition is screaming, but you’re ignoring it.
- That little voice that whispers this isn’t right? It’s real. And the more we listen, the easier it gets to recognise when something is no longer meant for us.
Making the Decision: Keep Going or Let Go?
If you’re torn, try this:
1️⃣ Take a Break. Step away for a few days (or weeks) and see how you feel. Do you miss it? Do you feel relief? The answer is often in the reaction.
2️⃣ Imagine Life Without It. If you let go, does the idea bring you peace or panic?
3️⃣ Talk It Out. Sometimes, saying it out loud to a trusted friend (or yourself in the mirror) makes things clearer.
4️⃣ Redefine Success. Maybe you don’t have to quit entirely. Maybe it just needs to look different than you originally planned.
Final Thoughts: Both Choices Are Brave
Letting go isn’t failure. Pushing forward isn’t always the answer. The real power is in choosing what’s right for you.
So, what’s calling you right now—persistence or release? Whatever you choose, trust that it’s the right decision for this moment. Because at the end of the day, you’re allowed to change your mind.
And if you do start over again? Well, at least now you’ll know why. 😊✨
