Patience is the support of weakness; impatience the ruin of strength. Charles Caleb Colton
Impatience has been my lifelong nemesis. For some reason, I’ve always believed that once I think of something, it should magically materialise in my life. This belief has been the silent saboteur of many of my goals, both big and small.
It’s like running a marathon—just as I near the finish line, instead of pushing through, I fall over and decide it’s not worth getting up again. I tell myself, “I’m over this; it’s taking too long. Move on.” And so, rather than finishing, I veer off in another direction, chasing something new and shiny.
One of my biggest regrets? And I’ll be honest there are many. Not finishing my Master’s degree. I had one semester left—just one—and that piece of paper would have been mine. But somehow, I convinced myself that “I’d done my time for Patsy Cline” and that a graduate diploma was good enough. Big, big regret. Looking back, I see how impatience and self-sabotage played a role. I wanted it done, and when it wasn’t happening fast enough, I walked away.
Part of this stems from my craving for instant gratification, part of it is my ADHD—ooh, look over there!—and my ability to focus vanishes. Another part of it is having too many big goals and feeling overwhelmed. And then there’s my brain, whispering its falsehoods about my worthiness, its okay to settle for less than I deserve and my ability to finish. So many tall tales it tells, spinning so fast that I can’t keep up. It’s like trying to train a puppy in a room full of possums —chaotic, exhausting, and mostly unsuccessful.
Speaking of puppies, I’m currently fostering two eight-week-old furballs, and watching them play is like seeing my own attention span in action. Yep, that toy was great—next! Oh, wait, I want your toy now. Their endless energy and rapid shifts in focus are hilarious, but also a mirror to my own brain. And just like me, after all that frantic activity, they suddenly crash for two hours, completely wiped out—much like how my own energy disappears after periods of hyperfocus and distraction.
That’s ADHD—it’s exhausting trying to manage the chaos inside my head. And what am I left with? Anxiety, self-loathing, and a sense of failure.
For years, I thought I was stupid. Why can’t I finish anything? Why can’t I make my budget work? Why do my goals remain incomplete? Each time I abandon something, I’m left feeling deflated, reluctant to try again. I’ve often explained it away as wanting to experience as much as possible, convincing myself that being a jack of all trades is better than mastering just one. But deep down, I don’t want to be a master of none—I want to see things through. And yet, impatience has kept me stuck in this cycle of stopping short of the finish line.
As I step into March, I’ve recognised a pattern that needs addressing: my impatience. Contrary to my beliefs, I have finished many tasks. But I also recognise that a lifetime of untreated depressive mood disorder, anxiety, and ADHD has, like any untreated condition, worsened over time. Add menopause to the mix—lucky me, I landed in the elite 5% of women who suffer from every conceivable side effect. For once, I felt like a high achiever. Straight to the top of the class!
And here’s where it gets even trickier—menopause and ADHD are a tangled mess. Estrogen plays a key role in dopamine regulation, and when it starts to fluctuate and drop, so does my ability to focus, regulate emotions, and stay motivated. Suddenly, things I could power through in my younger years now feel insurmountable. The exhaustion, the brain fog, the emotional rollercoaster—it’s all part of the same frustrating cycle.
And let’s add another layer—low iron. It turns out low iron does not help with anxiety or energy levels. Iron infusions, hormones going haywire—it’s all part of the puzzle that needs addressing. Despite having had a total hysterectomy and feeling great afterward, that relief didn’t last, and now it’s something else to investigate. Put it on the list. Hormonal shifts during menopause don’t just affect mood and energy; they amplify ADHD symptoms, making focus and motivation even harder to maintain. It’s no wonder so many women feel like they’re losing their minds when really, it’s just their bodies working against them. Knowing this helps me realise that my struggles aren’t personal failures—they’re physiological battles I need to approach with both strategy and self-compassion.
So, do I have any profound words of wisdom for those who, like me, struggle with impatience and have given up on dreams that didn’t magically appear overnight? Not really. Because I’m still working on it.
This is my project for 2025: to break the pattern and commit to the long game. The only way to do that is to stay focused on the present and take small steps, one at a time. Brick by brick. Step by step.
So, what’s going to be different this time? First, I refuse to use any of this as an excuse not to push forward. Awareness of these challenges doesn’t mean I surrender to them—it means I create a plan that takes them into account.
Whatever strategies I put in place must include compassion for myself and, for want of a better word, my limitations. But limitations don’t mean impossibilities. They just mean I need to work with my brain and body, not against them.
Well, for starters, I’m more informed. I understand what’s happening in my body and my brain. I have a plan with my psychiatrist and psychologist to work on my issues with impatience. I also have a clear vision of my goals—there are four big ones, all of which I’ve held onto for many years, some even from childhood. I’ve worked out small steps to take toward them. The order? I haven’t figured that out yet, but I trust that it will reveal itself in time.
To hold myself accountable, I’m putting some strategies in place. No more expecting overnight success—I’ll track progress, celebrate small wins, and remind myself that the best things take time. Maybe I’ll even revisit the idea of finishing that Master’s degree. Or maybe I’ll just commit to finishing this blog post without getting distracted by TikTok.
What about you? Do you struggle with impatience? Have you given up on dreams that felt too far away? Let’s work the long game together—one step at a time. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes throughout the year.
