I was listening to a friend recently, and she was telling me why now wasn’t the right time to pursue her dream. For her, it was a course of study. She was almost halfway through, but life was throwing her curveballs from every direction. Her partner was unwell. Finances? Up the creek without a paddle. The house needed more repairs than she could count, and she couldn’t afford to fix any of them.
As she spoke, I found myself nodding. Not just politely, but because everything she said sounded strangely familiar.
I thought, Are you living my life?
I could hear my own excuses echoing back at me—things I’d said to myself a hundred times.
There are a hundred and one reasons not to chase a dream.
Maybe more.
We can call them practicalities. Responsibilities. Timing. Priorities.
But often, they’re fear.
Fear in disguise.
Fear dressed up in “not now” and “maybe later” and “when things settle down.”
So I asked her—though really, I was asking myself too:
“I know all the reasons not to do it. But what’s the reason to do it? Why is this so important to you?”
Is It Really Important to Know the Reason Why Not?
We spend so much time listing the reasons we can’t—why it’s too hard, too expensive, too late, too selfish, too much.
And maybe it’s worth asking…
Do we really need to know the reason why not?
Most of the time, the reasons aren’t new.
They’re recycled. Worn out.
They’re the same stories we’ve told ourselves over and over until they sound like truth.
But sometimes they’re just fear wearing a sensible cardigan and holding a clipboard titled Realistic Expectations.
Knowing the reason why not might help us feel in control.
Like we’re being responsible.
But what if those reasons are just padding? A safe little bubble to protect us from disappointment or failure or the risk of actually trying?
What if, instead of asking “Why not?”, we asked:
What am I afraid will happen if I try?
What would happen if it didn’t work out?
And what would happen if it did?
Sometimes, the real reason we don’t start isn’t practical at all.
It’s emotional.
It’s buried under layers of self-doubt, perfectionism, guilt, or a lifetime of being told that our dreams are secondary to everyone else’s needs.
So maybe knowing the reason why not isn’t as important as we think.
Maybe the better question is:
What’s it costing me to keep waiting?
It’s Not As Simple As “Just Do It”
Let me say this: with all due respect to Nike and their well-worn slogan… Just do it is not always helpful.
That’s like telling a smoker to quit because it’s killing them.
As an ex-smoker, I can tell you: I knew that.
I didn’t need another reminder. I needed a way through.
I needed to understand why I lit up in the first place, what I was soothing, what I was avoiding, and who I thought I was without it.
So yes—I know it’s a case of “just do it.”
We all do.
But there’s a gap between thought and action.
A chain in the brain that needs breaking.
A loop we have to gently untangle, sometimes over and over again.
And here’s the kicker:
Non-action is still an action.
It’s a choice.
It’s staying still instead of stepping forward.
And it’s not passive—it costs something. Energy. Confidence. Self-trust.
So instead of barking “Just do it!” at ourselves, what if we asked:
What’s one small, rebellious act I can take today to move in the direction of my dream?
It doesn’t have to be huge.
It just has to be real.
It just has to break the loop.
From “One Day” to “Day One”: My Story
When I finally started writing my book, I didn’t have the ending in mind.
I didn’t even have a plot.
What I had… was a character.
I started writing to her in my journal.
Like a pen pal. Like an old friend I hadn’t met yet.
We got to know each other, slowly. She opened up. I listened. We built trust. And eventually, she brought friends.
I didn’t plan anything. I just wrote.
I let the characters drag me around for 18 months—through memories and heartbreak and little moments of magic—until, one day, I typed The End.
That was last November. And you’d think I’d feel finished, right?
But no.
Because that’s when the next part of the dream started to whisper.
Editing.
Cue the overwhelm.
I watched video after video. Took in all the advice. All the checklists. All the “must-dos.”
And suddenly, my fear ran wild.
I stared at the manuscript and thought, Maybe I’ll just move on to the next book. This one’s done enough.
But I knew I couldn’t put it down.
I knew I wasn’t done—not really.
So what did I do?
I made a mock cover for my book.
It wasn’t fancy, but it was mine.
I saved it as the wallpaper on my phone—my daily reminder of why I started.
And I found an accountability buddy.
We’ve committed to six weeks of focused editing. Small steps.
Not perfect.
But progress.
Because this is no longer a dream I can put off to “one day.”
This is my day one, again.
And again.
And again.
Your Turn
If you’ve been telling yourself one day, maybe this is the moment to ask:
✨ What’s my reason to start?
✨ What am I afraid of?
✨ What will it cost me to keep waiting?
✨ What loop am I ready to break today?
Maybe you’re not ready for a full leap. That’s okay.
But could you take one small, meaningful step?
Make a mock cover for your dream.
Set a timer and write for 10 minutes.
Text a friend and ask them to be your accountability buddy.
Say your dream out loud.
Because just doing it isn’t about being fearless.
It’s about being honest.
And choosing day one.
Note: To help you move from “one day” to your Day One, I’ve created a guided journal to go with this post. It’s full of reflective prompts and writing space to help you dig deeper, uncover what’s holding you back, and start taking gentle steps forward. Download the journal, pour a cup of coffee, and give yourself the gift of time to explore your dream.
https://agypsyinhighheels.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Day-One-personal-journal-workbook.pdf
